Should we be shaming people?

Have you ever said or done something only to have others publicly humiliate you for it? Public humiliation or what we might call “shaming” has long been a method of dealing with perceived wrongs. When I was a kid growing up attending school there were stories of kids in the past who when they misbehaved, would be asked to go stand in the corner and wear what was called a dunce cap. The cap itself was no longer in use by the time I was in school, but students were still made to stand in the corner, or sent out into the hall. In both cases there was a very real element of shaming involved. More recently we have witnessed the rise of shaming through social media. People now use Facebook or Twitter to shame those with whom they disagree. It is one thing to disagree, but is shaming really the way to go?

 

The Scarlet Letter is a book that tells the story of the life of a woman named Hester who is shamed for giving birth to a child out of wedlock. Hester is shamed for her sin and as punishment is forced to stand in front of the community for three hours as a form of public humiliation. Then she is forced to wear a red “A” on her clothing for the rest of her life as a reminder to her and the community of what she has done. The punishment for Hester is all about shame. The shaming didn’t end with Hester. As Hester’s daughter grows up, as beautiful and lovely as she is, she ends up with the burden of the same shame. Along the way, the author makes clear that those imposing the shame on Hester themselves have a problem with self righteousness. The two seem to go hand in hand.

 

The Scarlet Letter was written in the 1800’s. But very similar problems have been happening over and over for hundreds of years. In biblical times, there is a very similar account of a woman caught in adultery. In a strange turn of events some Pharisees – a group of religious leaders – managed to catch this woman in the act, and so they dragged her in to the center of the court for all to see. While she was standing there, they demanded to know from Jesus what should be done with her. Catching the Pharisees off guard, he tells them that anyone there who has not sinned can go ahead with implementing the punishment. Eventually each of the Pharisees, to the very last one, end up walking away. Jesus tells the woman that she can leave and encourages her to sin no more.

 

There are a few things that we can all learn from this. The first is a simple reminder that Jesus didn’t come to condemn the world but rather to save the world. Sometimes we get this all mixed up. We go around judging other people and shaming them, losing sight of Jesus’ main goal of mercy and grace. It is also worth noting that while the punishment was stoning, there was a large element of shaming. That seems to be the way of the world. We seem to take pleasure in humiliating those who have wronged us or violated our sense of right and wrong. In fact we are so eager to shame and humiliate that sometimes we end up shaming those who haven’t done anything wrong. The root of it really is that in humiliating others we are elevating ourselves, if we are conscious of it or not. The Pharisees are a great example. They were a very self-righteous lot, and they spent a lot of time trying to catch others in sin and shaming them. Think about any situation you are aware of where someone was shamed. Was there not some element of arrogance or self-righteousness involved on the part of those who did the shaming?

 

One of the most vile forms of punishment ever devised was the act of crucifixion. Not only was it horrifically painful physically, but those being crucified were stripped and left to hang in the presence of all who walked by. It was an act of shaming. It is said that Jesus endured the cross and despised the shame. He did it all for us.

 

The next time you want to shame someone, think twice. Are we not just throwing more shame on Jesus when we shame others? Also, if you think that shaming is effective in modifying behavior, then consider the verse in Romans chapter 2 where we learn that it is God’s kindness that leads to repentance. Certainly something to think about.