While trusting in Jesus as my Savior always seemed like the right and natural thing to do, becoming a pastor was not as simple. My journey into full-time ministry was much like the journey of Jonah. Jonah was called by God to go to Nineveh and preach a message of repentance. As many of us know, Jonah was not a big fan of that, and so he literally got up and traveled in the total opposite direction.
For me, while I was in high school, my faith was growing, and I was loving the journey. However, a local pastor, for whatever reason, saw fit to speak to me about spiritual gifts, and after a time shared with me that he thought I should seriously consider full-time pastoral work. I was not a big fan of the idea.
At the time that this conversation was happening, I was attending a church where there was a man who was a professor at the local university. I had a perception of this professor as being a very intelligent man, but also a man with a strong faith. This man was a member of the church I was attending, and would find regular opportunities to preach. As a peer of my father’s, I was able to admire him from a distance not really knowing that much about him on a personal level. However, I knew enough at the time for me to decide that rather than going into full-time work, that I wanted to be like him. I wanted to have a professional career and figured I could do “ministry” on the side. So while people would talk about going to Bible college, I made the decision that I would go to Wilfrid Laurier University and get a degree in Business.
After four years at Laurier, I secured a job with a consulting firm. I then began to look for a church to attend but really struggled. Finding a place I could connect was not as easy as I had hoped. I searched for a while, but eventually found myself sitting at home watching Sunday morning news and NFL pregame shows. This eventually took a huge toll on me spiritually. After a little under two years of very sporadic attendance at church, I began to realize that my relationship with God was drying up. Eventually I decided I needed to get off the couch and joined some friends almost 30 minutes away to attend church with them.
For the next few years, every Sunday I would make that trip out to Oshawa from Scarborough and attend Calvary Baptist Church. Having friends there opened the door for me to meet many others, and my time at Calvary became very fruitful years. I connected with the youth pastor there at the time and helped him with the youth. I also joined as a volunteer with Christian Service Brigade and just enjoyed the development and growth of a number of friendships.
Some issues became very clear to me during these years at Calvary Baptist. While I was there, I began to discover and experience the many varieties of preachers and their differing styles. It became clear to me that the method or style of preaching had a huge impact on the growth of those listening. At that time, I was also reading and hearing about so many churches where the pastor was either quitting or being fired. Learning about all the churches that were struggling woke me up to a very real problem. The Church is in need of people who are willing to serve sacrificially. It is need of people who can lead and preach, showing others what it looks like to live a life with and for Jesus Christ.
It was not long after beginning to attend Calvary, that the words of that former pastor from my high school days crept back into my head. I began to have thoughts that what I was doing for my career was missing the mark. I also began to have thoughts that what I was doing during the day was simply to fund my ability to work at the church in the evenings. At one point I had a crazy thought. The question popped into my head “what would I do career-wise if I won the lottery?”. Some would have serious issue with a Christian asking the question, but it put a few things into perspective for me. I have since heard the question phrased a little differently, but with the same intent. If you had all the money in the world, and knew that God would bless you in whatever you did, what would you do? My answer was simple. I would not continue what I was doing, but I would walk into the church building and just volunteer. I had the desire at that point to see others experience what I had experienced – the saving grace of Jesus. I also wanted others to know how much of a difference He could make in our lives when we choose to live for Him.
In a very odd sort of way the idea of becoming a pastor was now more firmly in my head. But my own stubbornness was still ever present. I spoke to the youth pastor at Calvary about what I was thinking. He, as well as a number of other people around me, all felt like I should be a pastor. It seemed at this point that the affirmation was coming from many different people all in the same direction. One thing that the youth pastor at Calvary shared with me was some advice from Spurgeon:
“Do not enter the ministry if you can help it,” was the deeply sage advice of a divine to one who sought his judgment. If any student in this room could be content to be a newspaper editor, or a grocer, or a farmer, or a doctor, or a lawyer, or a senator, or a king, in the name of heaven and earth let him go his way; he is not the man in whom dwells the Spirit of God in its fullness, for a man so filled with God would utterly weary of any pursuit by that for which his inmost soul pants. (from “Lectures To My Students” by CH Spurgeon, pg. 26-27)
Well those words didn’t help me. They just drove me further into believing that I should stick it out in the business world. So I came up with two reasons that I shouldn’t bother. One was that I was single and I figured that being single in the ministry would mean that I would not be effective. The other issue I was going to have was how to pay for training. My degree was in business not theological studies. So I was going to need to go back to school. I began to pray and found myself putting these up as a fleece of sorts. I am not a huge fan of fleeces, but there I was asking God that if He wanted me in ministry that He needed to overcome those hurdles.
Well God has a sense of a humor. It wasn’t long after I came up with those excuses that I met my future wife Wendy. We dated for only a very short time before I told her what was on my mind about pastoral ministry. Wendy was not only supportive of me going into ministry, but was also willing to work while I studied. So that pretty much took care of both my concerns. However, a further blessing came along when we finally applied to Seminary. I learned that I had been awarded an international student grant that would cover half of my tuition costs. Now there was clearly nothing left to stop me from going forward.
So after approximately ten years of wrestling with God, and trying to find other ways to live my life, I finally caved in. I went to Denver Seminary, got the training I desperately needed, and have since been serving in the role of pastor for some 20 years now.
The road as a Pastor has not been easy. There have been some amazing blessings, some seasons of great joy, but also times of hardship. In those dark days though, I am reminded of where I have been and what God has taken me through. It amazes me to look back and see the way in which God has moved in me to get me to where I am. This calling, has reminded me that I am a pastor. This is what God wants me to do and this is where I find my joy.